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– J

Walter Palmer’s Choice

If you truly want to live the life of your dreams, you’re going to make some choices along the way that you never saw coming.

There’s been a lot of interest over the last week or so regarding the death of Cecil the lion.  I’m going to touch on it because it illustrates the enormous power of choice and also in part, the morality of your success that you’re going to face sooner or later. If you truly want to live the life of your dreams, you’re going to make some choices along the way that you never saw coming.  These are going to be choices with consequences that you didn’t expect, and the more you understand about how choices work the better prepared you’ll be.

…the more you understand about how choices work, the better prepared you’ll be.

My interest in the case is this:  Walter Palmer has inadvertently become the subject of internet vitriol and hatred, and it’s going to be the ruin of more than just him if it continues.Cecil was an African lion who was killed by an American named Walter Palmer.  There is a ton of information available on the internet about the incident, so I’m not going to go into the details here.  Partly that’s because I don’t want to sway your opinion about the incident itself, and partly it’s because if you really want to know what’s going on you’ll read several different accounts and then decide for yourself how to approach this and any other major issue.

If you’ve read The Right Question or basically any other article on this blog, you’ll know how much I respect the fact that every single thing you do or say is a choice.  Whether you like it or not (most people don’t like it, and most people aren’t successful, either.  Not a coincidence) the fact is that the choices we make, expanded over a lifetime, decide our fate.  Charles Noble hit the nail on the head when it comes to choices when he wrote that “First we make our habits, then our habits make us.”

This means that choices are something to be valued, and the ability to make good choices is a skill, a talent, an ability worth developing.

…the ability to make good choices is a skill, a talent, an ability worth developing.

It also means that there is honor and maturity displayed in making the right choices.  And on some level, we all know that.

That’s the reason why we can all go into a theatre and sit there with a bunch of strangers in total darkness.  We’re living by an unspoken code of conduct and behavior, a choice we’re all making to get along with each other so that we can enjoy the movie or performance without interfering with someone else’s enjoyment of it.  It can be a fine line sometimes between what you consider fun and what someone else considers annoying, but we all learn that as we go.

When we can’t seem to make those choices, we have people step in and do it for us.  When we’re children, these people are our parents.  In adulthood we call them lawmakers.  Bureaucrats.  Politicians.  Basically, anyone but you.  They’ll decide what happens to you if you don’t behave.  These are people who have made choices that have put them in a position to be able to limit yours.  You’re grateful when they choose not to, and you dislike it when they do.

Here’s how it relates to poor old Cecil the lion and his accidentally famous killer:
There is no law against anyone reading this blog going out and killing a lion.  Nothing at all.  And there shouldn’t be.  Because it’s face it, why the hell would you go out and kill a lion?  Why bother making a law about something like that in the first place?  I mean, who kills a lion anymore?  Call me naive here, call me an old-fashioned gentleman, but is anyone going to eat him? Is his hide of any practical use? His paws aren’t going to be used for making glue, such as horses’ hooves are.  He has no tusks.  To the best of my admittedly limited knowledge, he’s got nothing of practical value that is commercially attractive at all.

Even though there are many areas of the world where wildlife can be a danger, Palmer was too cowardly by far to genuinely place himself in harm’s way.  His choice to exercise the right to kill a lion exemplifies everything that’s wrong about the abuse of free will and power of choice.  And therein lies the reason why he is screwing everybody else over.  By exercising the right to do so, he gives other people with the right to but who choose not to, a bad name.  Do you follow?  I’m assuming you’re a non-lion-killing sort of person.  I’m definitely one.  I’d love to shoot a lion one day, but only with a damn fine camera.  You and I have the right to go shoot a lion, and that’s nice.  But why would we?

I’ve nothing against big game hunting, as long as there is value in the kill beyond the experience sought by the hunter.  I know people who hunt.  They obtain permits to do so, for animals such as moose and deer.  The hunters kill their quota, and they enjoy an overflowing freezer full of healthy game that has never seen a processing plant.  The game has never had preservatives sprayed on it, injected into it, has never been plumped up with water to fetch a higher price when sold by weight; the animal itself grazed freely and reproduced as its ancestors have done for hundreds of years.  I don’t know anyone who hunts bears but I’ve met a few, and I spent an enjoyable afternoon once chatting with a hunting guide whose sole occupation was guiding bear hunters.

One of the more interesting insights I’ve had into wildlife population control was when I picked up two Bavarian hitchhikers on a trip through the Canadian Rockies.  They asked about bears in North America and related how a bear was seen near their town back home.  They said that the authorities shot it.

“Why?” I asked.  “Did it attack someone?”  No, they answered, it’s just that people are nervous knowing there’s a bear around.  The local wildlife authorities didn’t have the knowledge to transport it elsewhere, so they simply shot it to assuage common fears of bears.  To me, that’s every bit as lazy and abhorrent as what Palmer did, but you don’t see people up in arms over that.

All laws were made because somebody with the power of choice decided to make that law.  They had freedom and used it to limit yours.

If we vilify Walter Palmer for killing a lion, we invite lawmakers to interfere.  They’ll side with the indignant masses, and they’ll make it illegal to hunt lions.  And do you know what result that will have?  It will mean that you and I will have one fewer freedom than we do now.  Who cares if it’s a freedom we’ll never use?  All laws were made because somebody with the power of choice decided to make that law.  They had freedom and used it to limit yours.  And you and I, responsible people who would never have pointlessly killed, may not even have the right to shoot an animal with a camera.  And this brings me to why it is that choices are so wonderful.

There will always be people such as Walter Palmer who push the envelope of what we all consider common standards of behavior and conduct, a larger version of the standards that allow us all to go into a darkened theatre and get along with each other long enough to enjoy the performance.  But in a world where we all avoid killing animals because it’s a law, the honor inherent in making the right choice is completely eliminated.  Now we aren’t sure if our neighbour isn’t killing lions because he’s a good person, or if it’s solely because of his fear of punishment.  And that means that we can’t pay tribute to each other’s choices in the same way anymore.  The entire point of having freedom of choice gets belittled.

Success is more a matter of making the right choices in a practical way than it is a constant moral judgment, but your choices stem from your beliefs. And every time the opportunity to choose is eliminated, you lose the ability to practice making decisions. You risk losing sight of your beliefs. And if you can’t choose success, you’ll never be successful.

The Question is the Answer

Have you ever really gotten an answer?

Statistically, you’ve bought several self-development programs, courses, or ebooks.  And although all of them have taught you something valuable, I’ll bet none of them ever really encouraged you to think.

That’s because they all pretend to give you answers.

I say they ‘pretend’ to give answers because they have no real idea just what your problems are, yet they all provide answers.  To questions you haven’t even asked!  And when it comes to things like setting goals, they all say the same things.

Well, I did those things.  And I never really reached any of my goals doing it that way.

Not until I added the Question.

Many self-help gurus are pretty comfortable giving advice and telling you what you should do.  Weight loss and diet gurus do the same thing.  So do financial gurus.  “You should stop eating this, start eating that, invest in this, invest in that.”

Quite often, we feel that we need answers but don’t know where to start simply because we don’t know where we are, and it’s easy to think we need somebody to tell us.  But as long as you know where you want to end up, it doesn’t matter where you start.

The only thing that has ever led humanity out of the darkness and into the light is our ability to think, and to use our imagination.  It is what separates us from animals, what gives us possibilities, what helps us understand, what empowers us.  Thinking solves problems that are created by those who don’t bother thinking.

But here’s the interesting thing:  Thinking is a decision.

It’s something we decide to do.  When somebody else takes over, provides answers, takes charge, are you secretly relieved that now you don’t have to think anymore?  You’ve probably noticed that those who think are criticized more often than those who don’t bother.  Not thinking is a great way to avoid responsibility.  But it also means that we aren’t seen as trustworthy, independent, or worthy of respect.  And it certainly isn’t going to help us succeed at anything.

The great thing about the Question is that it’s something you can ask yourself silently, think about silently, and come up with answers to silently.  Nobody has to know.  It’s just you and the Question and one minute of your time, and then you move on in whatever direction you chose.

This means that YOU are the one who gets to provide the answers.  Once you’ve asked the Question, you get to understand what your own opinion is of what’s going on around you.  You get to finally see where you stand with yourself.  You’ll realize that you really do have all the answers inside you, and you can ask the Question about even the smallest aspect of your life.  With a tiny bit of practice, you’ll be applying it to bigger and bigger things.  And you’ll wonder why nobody ever told you this before.

It’s also obvious to me every time I see someone succeeding at something – anything at all – that they’ve asked the Question, and their success is the result of the answer.  And it doesn’t matter if we’re talking about somebody running for President or running for the elevator, the question is the same and the answer depends on the individual.

That’s why the answer is never a wrong answer.  Isn’t that beautiful?

I was standing in a bookstore the other day, at the self help section, leafing through a book written by a now-famous human rights activist, Bob Goff.  He has done some great work in his life.  I can tell you right now that his book is decent and worth reading.  But I can also tell you that there’s one thing he didn’t say, one thing you’ll find nowhere else but here…

His success is a result of The Right Question, the most powerful sentence in the world.  The one sentence that every single successful person has ever asked – and the answer to which has also explained every failure.  It’s all you need.

The Question is the Answer.

Apply Your Laziness To Get Things Done

You know you need to get started – or keep going, or finish up, or whatever. You know you have work to do, but you just…


feel like it.

Well, join the club. Everyone feels like that sooner or later. For some it’s a daily occurrence, for others it’s rare, but it visits us all.

Now, I’m a big fan of the kind of thinking that advises us to just push past it (or through it, or whatever) and act in spite of those feelings of lethargy, or anger, or fear. I think there’s a lot to be said for feeling the fear and doing it anyway.

However, I’d like to offer a method of getting yourself engaged in your projects that takes this a step further. It’s a fun and easy mental trick that anyone can play, and it connects you to yourself in a way that feeling the fear and doing it anyway just can’t offer.

I’ve written many times that avoidance of a task usually indicates fear, but asking yourself, ‘What am I afraid of?’ can only take you so far. Because remember, understanding ‘why’ isn’t going to get you results. Only action does that.

What I propose is this: Absolutely embrace that lethargy, or fear. And apply those feelings to your task. Do your task lazily, do it fearfully, but do it. Approach your task knowing and fully understanding that you don’t feel like doing it, and embrace that feeling.

You see, you don’t have to jump for joy at the prospect of cleaning the house or coding bugs out of your app. You just need to do it. So next time you don’t feel like mowing the lawn, ask yourself the Question and realize that you’re going to do it anyway. So, just slowly and lazily start it. Push it like you’re trying to move a mountain. Complain loudly if you like. If it’s a writing project, sit down and write, “I don’t feel like writing. I am lazy today, and I just want to watch crazy cat videos all day.”

You’ll find that you get something accomplished by doing it this way, which is more than you can say for avoiding the task altogether. You might not actually push that mower any faster. You might only get half of it done before you call it quits. You might only write one paragraph, but as you write down all the reasons why you don’t feel like writing, inspiration may just pounce on you and help you produce the best work you’ve ever done.

At the end of the day when you reflect on what you’ve accomplished, you’ll be able to say you at least got something done, which is more than would have happened if you’d completely avoided your work. You didn’t have to like it, but you did it. Tomorrow there will be less to do, less distance between you and your goal.

I’d say that’s worth doing something lazily, wouldn’t you?

And along the way, you’ll have used the most powerful sentence in the world. Next stop: Global domination!


The life of your dreams is going to happen to you, if it happens at all.

So make sure it happens.

Realize your dreams based on the knowledge that you did the right things to get there.

I’m offering you what you have always wanted, and what seems to good to be true – a shortcut through everything you could spend the next 20 years reading.  I’m offering you not only the results of my own experience on my way to success, but every single idea in every self help book ever written, in one sentence.  The Right Question is the answer you’ve been looking for.

I explain each phrase (there are three), and each word in those phrases.  I give you personal stories of how it came about, examples of how you can use it whether you’re so depressed you can barely get out of bed or are already successful but just feel that there’s something missing.

I can’t count the number of books, audio programs, videos and other materials that I bought, whether new or over eBay or local classifieds, from people who never used the information in them.  These are materials that cost thousands of dollars that they bought, listened to or read once or not at all, and decided their investment wasn’t worth it.  Reading TRQ will separate you from the rest of the herd – you’ll learn about success and possibility, not defeat and despair.

It seems too good to be true, but it isn’t.  There are lots of obstacles in your path.  I never said it would be easy.

I’m saying it’s worth it.

Succeed at Anything

The Right Question is the most powerful sentence in the world.

Once you learn what it is and how to use it, you will be unstoppable.

I want you to live your dreams.  And you will.

My name is James de Garmo, and I want you to live your dreams. I don’t care how old you are or what you’ve done with your life up to now, or how far you think you’ve fallen from where you were or where you wanted to be. I want you to succeed at life.

If we all did that, we’d act from positions of power, understanding, generosity, acceptance, gratitude and effectiveness.

Whatever it means to you, you want to succeed at something.  Maybe it’s making a lot of money.  It might mean overcoming a personal hardship.  Perhaps you want success with the opposite sex, a fulfilling relationship.  Any of these things seem like moving targets, elusive, and a matter of luck more than anything.

Success is the result of doing the right things at the right time. Many other factors play a part – everything from knowing the right people to just plain and simple good luck – but absolutely nothing happens without some action. Even winning a lottery means you have to buy a ticket. At some point, you have to do something.

Naturally, this leaves most people wondering what to do. What is it that successful people are doing that unsuccessful people aren’t doing, and where can you learn this, anyway?

Read on to find out how I came up with the most powerful sentence in the world, the one that every person who has ever succeeded has asked. You’ve asked it too, but it’s possible that you didn’t really understand its power or thought it wasn’t important. Believe me, it is.  In fact, it’s impossible to succeed without doing this one crucial thing.

Unless you already knew the Question, you never stopped to ask it. But if you want consistent results in your life that are measurable, positive, and guide you towards the life of your dreams – in every sense of whatever that means to you – then you need to do so.

You need to ask it on purpose. And when you do, you’ll realize why some things succeeded and others didn’t. You’ll immediately realize that the good life isn’t just for other people. You will understand that you can have it all, and you’ll begin living it.

I’m not talking about ’embracing your inner halo’ or some other New Age excuse for accepting an unfulfilling existence. It is important to want the life you already have, because that’s where you start from, but make no mistake – the life you really want to live is waiting for you.

Asking the Question is a compassionate way to examine your current way of living and understand how it drifted away from what you really wanted, but its purpose is to get you back on track and make you realize that the life you’ve always wanted is yours with so little effort that you’ll wonder why nobody told you this before.

“Is this self-help?” I hear you asking.

Please, no.  No more self help, okay?  I’ve had all I can handle.

I studied self help for over 20 years before I realized it had done absolutely nothing for my bank account whatsoever.  The thing I wanted most was financial independence, and it was the thing that had eluded me the most.  You’d think two decades of gaining intimate knowledge of the self help field would have produced some result – something, anything – but I was just as broke as I was as a teenager.

Interestingly enough, this is how self help backfired on itself and led to the Question.  When I say I followed all the instructions in those books, I mean it.  I wrote down my goals in the positive, I meditated, I filled a binder with pictures the places I was going to go and the cars I was going to drive, everything.  This includes the advice about having conversations with some very wealthy people about how they did it.  And those conversations led me to understand the one thing – really, the only thing – that wealthy people had in common.

Sure, most of them worked lots.  But some didn’t.  Some were happy, some weren’t.  Most of them said they’d build another fortune easily if the one they had was suddenly lost.  But not all.  Some drove beautiful cars, others walked.  Some found that their business took them around the world, others barely left their home town (these ones were tough to find, and though their fortunes were modest, they were rock solid).

However, every single one of them told me the same thing – that when it came to overcoming challenges and finding a way to succeed, when it came down to the business of getting it all, keeping it all and enjoying it all, no matter how humble their beginnings, they all asked themselves the same question.

They didn’t all word it the way I’ve done.  Some took an entire conversation to explain it, others who were kind enough to give me five minutes outside their hotel or convention center said it much more succinctly.  But they all, every one of them, said the same thing in one way or another.  And it was something I’d never, ever read in any self help or success book before.  Not explained in such simple terms, anyway, and certainly not as such an easy-to-understand concept.  I read one book that came close, but it didn’t quite hit the mark.

…when they actually told me how they did it, none of them thanked self help books for their wealth.  Only the Question in one shape or form was what made the difference.

Ironic, isn’t it?  Self help and success books told me to see how wealthy people became wealthy, yet when they actually told me how they did it, none of them thanked self help books for their wealth.  Only the Question in one shape or form was what made the difference.

I followed every single suggestion and step to the letter.  I wasted oceans of time trying to figure out why my life wasn’t working, before I realized that “why” is irrelevant.  It took me a long time to realize that the purpose of mainstream self help, from what I could see anyway, was simply to make me feel better about my problems.  I’m not talking about academic studies of self-esteem or personal interaction by writers such as Nathaniel Branden and Eric Berne, though I read those as well (and recommend them).  I mean the standard diet of crap like The Secret or Tony Robbins or anyone else who panders to the frustrated masses.  There’s only so much rah-rah fistpumping you can do before the rush wears off and you realize you’re worse off than you were the day before, because you’re not richer but you are older.

Self help isn’t just about getting rich.  Love and weight loss are the other two huge subjects in which self help books insist that they can pave the way for you.  And they’re just as useless in those fields.

The reason is simple:  They don’t answer the right question.

When it comes to your success, there’s only one thing that’s going to light a fire under you and ensure that you stay on track until your dream comes true.  And to get that answer, you have to ask the right question.

Have you heard these tired old saws:

  • “Figure out why!”
  • “You have to want it!”
  • “Set your vision!”
  • “Take massive action!”
  • “Follow your passion!”
  • “Set great goals!”

In the long term, they’re useless.  They’ll fire you up for a while but it is very rare that any of these methods provide long term results you can rely on.

To fully understand why, think about the fact that success and failure are two sides of the same coin.

In twenty-five years of reading self help and success books, I ran into countless others who were bona fide self-help and success lit junkies.  They made me look like a hobbyist, even with my huge collection of books, tapes, videos, you name it. These people knew a lot more than I did about the genre, but they were just as broke and confused as I was.  Obviously there was either something missing or something wrong with what we were being told.

I found out what was wrong, and I discovered what was missing.  And now I want to share it with you.

I’ve made it my mission to help you understand why everything you’ve wanted seems just as far away as the day you first wanted it.  Until now.

I’m going to share a secret with you that will put you back in touch with the life you’ve only thought could happen if you won the lottery or met a magic genie.  Back in the driver’s seat of your dreams, with the people you love, and above all, I’ll put you in touch with yourself.

You’re going to get your life aligned with who you really are.  You’re going to see every single area of your life blossom and grow in ways you never even imagined.

Along the way, you’re going to gain a permanent and lasting understanding of how to beat your problems. You’ll conquer the things that have been holding you back.  You’ll finally understand why you procrastinate, divert your attention away from what really matters, eat when you’re upset or bored, are generally unsatisfied, and are consistently broke no matter how much money you make.  And you’re going to change all that.  Completely.

 Download The Right Question right now and discover how to achieve success, no matter how far away it seems.