One thing I’ve noticed that people have in common who berate themselves for being unsuccessful is that they don’t take action. It seems to me that they’re waiting until they want to do something about it before they take that action, but because they feel that everything is futile, they know that they’re never going to want to take action towards a better life because it means that they would have to have a certain degree of faith in a positive outcome before they even bothered trying.
It came to my attention that someone had posted a short mention of my book on a website called http://www.imatotalloser.com/. I had never heard of this site before and I read through it. If you haven’t been there, trust me it’s an eye-opener.
It’s a very simple website, not choked up with ads or anything. It’s basically a blog site where anyone can vent their troubles to the world at large. If you feel that nothing is working, you go to imatotalloser and share your story.
The post that TRQ was mentioned in was several months ago. If you read the post you’ll see why I’m flattered in a rather…unique way, you could say. But I’m glad that the person who wrote it found some value in my book, and I want to address more about it.
Imatotalloser is crammed full of very similar stories. The details vary but the underlying philosophy behind why the contributors feel that they’re losers is strikingly similar.
First, there’s contempt for themselves because they aren’t contributing anything. A lot of the posts are just one person after another saying how they can’t seem to get their act together. Some of them are getting good grades, some aren’t, some are married and wish they weren’t, others aren’t married but wish they were, but they are in the same boat in the sense that they just can’t bring themselves to be productive members of society.
Another thread running through them is a feeling of hopelessness, as though there is no point in wanting anything or working towards anything.
In my view, these two things are inextricably linked.
We all know that we respect people who take action. They may be the wrong actions but we usually don’t know that until later. People who do nothing don’t earn respect. Obviously there is a part of our psyche that knows very well that taking action is something that mentally and emotionally healthy people do.
But who wants to take action when there is no faith that things will turn out the way we want? And if there’s no faith that things will turn out the way we want, then why would we bother doing something in the first place? This goes back to the entire reason why I wrote The Right Question in the first place – the fact is, it’s pointless to wait until we want to take action. Because if our lives aren’t working, it’s going to be a very, very long wait.
Instead, ask The Right Question, spend a minute or two on the answer, and you’ll never post to a site like that again.